“Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything.
Maybe it’s about unbecoming everything that isn’t really you so you can be who you were really meant to be in the first place.”
I can’t take credit for the above quote, I found it on Pinterest but I did love it. It spoke to me.
I shared this recently on facebook on my personal page: Glenn Razor-Azar feel free to add me if you want my thoughts on life as I tend to put them there first and foremost.
WARNING: If you’re sensitive when it comes to language then please DO NOT read on. By continuing to read I will assume you’re cool with the language and therefore expect to not receive any complaints.
We spend a lot of our formative years learning to be who society wants us to be. Learning to be who the people around us think we should be. Young girls are given dolls, dressed in pink, encouraged to participate in ballet, dance, gymnastics and the like. They’re given toy kitchens and dolls that wee and need nappies.
Boys are given trucks, play footy, told to harden up when they fall over. Convinced they’re the stronger sex. Yes these are sweeping statements but if you take interest in Human Behaviour and watch the World I think you’ll find this to be largely accurate.
We’re told through a lot of verbal and many more non-verbal cues who we should be, how we should act, how society sees us and should see us.
We become scared to step outside those guidelines even if we know this isn’t who we are. We slowly let the world dictate how we see ourselves. We judge others on the same ‘norms’ of society and the pack tries to keep everyone in and around the pack so far as behaviours go. If you elect to be different then the pack will distance itself from you and become isolated. This is how pack animals punish those not playing the ‘team’ game.
We get scared to screw up. Making a mistake is frowned upon and we fear ridicule from the herd. We stop taking risks or trying new things. How crazy is that? As a kid you try things, get them wrong, try again, get them wrong but make improvements until suddenly you can do the thing.
As adults we don’t want to be ridiculed so we don’t try things or we try them in secret and if we get them wrong we pretend it didn’t happen.
What if it’s all wrong? What if there is no ‘normal’? What if it’s ok to screw up, a lot, on the way to getting it right and finding out who we are?
What if society has screwed us up by all of this expectation? What if we’ve screwed ourselves up trying to live to these expectations?
If you’ve ever felt weird, detached, like perhaps you don’t fit into this world, maybe this is why?
So who fixes it? Well, in the words of Gunnery Sergeant Hartmann, ‘You had best un-fuck yourself’
That’s right YOU. It’s on YOU to take control of YOUR life, to discover who YOU are and to start shaping YOUR life.
It’s not on me, it’s not on society (even if it’s to blame to some extent), it’s not on your Mum and Dad, that kid that bullied you at school. Trust me, we’re all screwed up to some extent ourselves and trying to right our own ships. If you want to be better, feel different, live a life that makes sense to you, well – it’s on YOU. It has to be.
My only two rules here – Do whatever you like, be whatever you like, so long as you’re not doing anything illegal and not harming anyone else in the process. Cover those two and you’re good to go. Fill your boots.
Your other option – piss and moan about how hard your life is, that no one understands you, that’s life’s unfair etc etc. It is, I get that, but take charge of yourself. Unbecome everything that doesn’t make sense to you, everything that doesn’t feel right to you and go learn who you are and then be that person to the best of your ability. You’ll feel happier, you’ll attract the right people into your circle, you’ll be of greater service to the world because the world doesn’t need more clones, it needs strong independent thinkers that know what feels right for them and are willing to chase their dreams.
You won’t be happy in life when you succeed, you’ll succeed in life when you become happy. Think about that for a minute.
This isn’t a rant – it’s just an opinion of someone that helps people find their way in the World and in the process is finding his own way.
Happy end of hump day and enjoy the rest of your week, or don’t, whichever you choose. I don’t mind.